Hot Mess
by chalantness
Summary: It's Bobby Bishop's birthday and Kat has to cook dinner. However, Hale thinks otherwise. Let's just say they cook up one hot mess.


**Characters/Pairings.** HaleKat

Disclaimer: Heist Society © Ally Carter

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**Hot Mess**

By sakuracherish814

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There were a lot of things that Katarina Bishop knew how to do.

_Cooking_ was not one of those things.

"Gabrielle," Kat groaned, the cordless phone wedged between her ear and her shoulder as she tried to crack eggs, read the recipe, and pay attention to her cousin talking her ear into oblivion. "Why is it that _I_ have to do all the cooking, I mean, _come on_, Hale could probably get Marcus to do it—or even better! He could _hire_ some chefs to!"

"Look, Kat, I don't like doing it either," she admitted, "but don't you think your dad will like it better if it was homemade?"

"It's his birthday. We don't want to poison him!" Kat reminded. "I'm sure he'll love something edible more than something homemade."

"Then _make_ him something edible!" Gabrielle snapped.

Kat arched an eyebrow despite the fact that Gabrielle couldn't see this. "You okay, Gab?"

"My mom has not stopped nagging me _all day_ and she made me burn the damn cake three times!"

"Gab, remember what we talked about?" Kat asked. "Deep breaths."

She could practically hear Gabrielle rolling her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Look, Kat, I've got to go, I still have to ice the damn thing."

Kat sighed. "Fine. I'll see you later."

"See ya."

She placed the phone down on the counter and sighed.

The kitchen was a mess, and she was no different. She hadn't even bothered to change out of her pajama shorts and shirt, simply piling her hair messily on her head with a clip and throwing on an apron (which was now smudged with flour and egg yolk and marinara) as soon as she woke up and splashed water on her face. Picking locks, she could do. Cooking dinner was clearly not something she was cut out for.

She had been so frustrated she hadn't even noticed someone else was in the room until that someone was behind her, wrapping their arms around her waist.

"Hey, Kitty Kat," Hale whispered into her ear, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Have you been cooking all morning?"

"If you mean _attempting to_ then, yes, Hale," Kat answered, "I've been cooking all morning."

"It looks good," he said.

She laughed. "Thanks for trying."

He chuckled as he let go of her and, instead, grabbed the recipe from her hands. "Now, let's see…"

"Hale," she growled impatiently, reaching for the recipe back, but he just grinned at her and held it out of her reach.

She glared at him. His grin widened. "Ask nicely, Kitty Kat."

"_No_. Hale, I've got to get this going if you plan on there being food for dinner tonight."

He ignored her, pretending to be preoccupied with reading it.

"_Hale!_"

"Ask nicely," he sang.

She narrowed her eyes and reached for the paper. Again, he pulled it just out of her grasp.

She nearly growled at him, but he chuckled. "Ooh. Feisty little kitten."

Oh, he was _so_ asking for it!

Before she could even think of it, she dug her hands in the first thing she could find—which was a handful of sugar from the bag—and tossed it into his face.

They both froze. Her jaw dropped as she realized what she had just done, and she bit her lower lip, peering at him cautiously. He didn't move at first. But, slowly, he set the recipe back down on the counter and wiped the sugar from his eyes with the back of his hands. The smile he gave her had her backing away.

"What's the matter, Kitty Kat?" he asked. "Scared?"

She was about to answer, but was instead met with an egg tossed at her chest.

"_Hale!_"

He grinned innocently. "Yes, Kitten?"

That grin of his had her grabbing for the bowl of mash potatoes and smiling wickedly as his eyes widened, scooping some into her hands and tossing it at his chest as well. "Oops," she giggled, shrugging just as innocently as him. Then she figured _Well, why not?—I've already gone this far,_ and grabbed another handful, tossing it at his face this time.

He wiped it with the back of his hand so that it plopped onto the tiled floor. Then, before she could register it, she was stumbling forward, being pulled by her wrist, and something slimy was being tossed down her shirt. She shuddered and dropped the bowl of mashed potatoes, wrenching her wrist free as she caught whatever it was that slid down her chest. Raw eggs.

"Finished, Kitty Kat?" he asked as she cringed and threw the raw eggs onto the floor in a big splat.

She was smiling wickedly again, taking the wooden spoon in a bowl of gravy.

"Far from it."

And she flicked it into his face.

He stepped back for a moment, startled.

Then she laughed as he used the sides of his thumbs to wipe the gravy from his face.

He looked at her, watching as she was grinning widely and licking some gravy from the spoon. "Something wrong, Hale?" she asked innocently.

He arched an eyebrow, intrigued, and ran his fingers along the marble countertop as he slowly walked over to her. She made no move to try and escape. In fact, her eyes seemed to be challenging him as he moved closer and closer to her.

Then he grabbed a handful of the uncooked pumpkin pie on the table.

"No," he finally answered, his voice casual as he flicked the pie into her face. "Not anymore."

Chunks of the pumpkin pie fell from her face, landing onto the floor between them, and she smeared the rest off. She looked at him blankly for a few moments, their bodies only inches apart. Her lips curved upward into a smile as she traced the rim of an open jar of cherries, their eyes locked together.

She dipped her hand into the cherries, scooping a few with her fingers, and her smile widened as she squeezed them in her hand.

"Hale," she said slowly, "do you like cherries?"

His answering smile was clearly one of someone who was up to no good.

She brought her hand to her mouth and ate a few cherries, the juices dripping onto her lips.

Then she took her other hand, locking her fingers into Hale's hair, and pulled his face to hers, their lips meeting fiercely in the middle.

He could taste the cherries as they kissed. He had never been a fan of cherries, but he suddenly wanted more, kissing her hungrily. Her other hand grabbed onto his shirt and tightened around it as he tugged her closer by her shirt, pulling their bodies as physically close as possible. This rode up their shirts a little, their skin brushing, and it sent chills up her spine.

When they reluctantly parted, they were nearly gasping for air, their breathing coming out staggered.

"My dad's going to kill you once he sees us," she whispered.

He licked the cherry juice from his lips. "Let him."

"Hale…Hale, what if someone comes home?" she asked, letting out a low moan as he began kissing the crook of her neck and shoulder. "_Hale!_"

He ignored her, smirking against her skin. "Is that all you're capable of saying, Kitty Kat? My name?"

If he hadn't locked his fingers into her hair and brought their lips back together, she would've rolled her eyes, but she was a little bit distracted right now.

_This is so wrong_, was the only clear thought she could manage through the thick haze in her mind. They were both a mess, there was food all over the floor, she still had to cook, Simon or the Bagshaws or her dad or even Uncle Eddie could walk in on them at any moment! And yet, all she could focus on was kissing Hale. (That, and the taste of cherries. Oh how she loved cherries.)

His hands found their way to her hips and he hoisted her onto the kitchen island countertop. This caused things to slide everywhere. Bowls of gravy and stuffing and mashed potatoes and raw eggs fell to the floor alongside bags of flour and sugar. The jar of cherries and the carton of eggs fell as well, shattering against the tiles. Her legs wrapped around his waist instinctively, as he ran his fingers through her hair, planting kissed on her neck. She shivered and brought their lips back together, kissing him more hungrily.

They were too engrossed in the kiss to hear the door being unlocked, or the footsteps shuffling into the kitchen, or even the gasps and the thud of something being dropped. Only when they heard someone yell quite hysterically, "What are you two doing?" did they part.

They turned around and found themselves staring at Simon, Angus, and Hamish, their eyes wide and mouths agape.

Kat just bit her lower lip and smiled while Hale ignored them and licked his lips.

"Can't you see? We're cooking dinner."

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**A/n.** This is the first time I've written something quite like _this_ before, so if it's awful, horrible, awkward, etc. then you know why. (:

Sorry if they're terribly out of characters in here. But, hey, it was a pretty _hot mess _in there! Can you blame them?

_So you read it. Love it? Hate it? Please review it!_


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